About the different temperature rating for each gender, i've heard that women, by nature, need to keep their "privates" a few degrees warmer than men, thus the different "design" hehe. That may come into play.
Setting that aside, since the heat inside the insulation layer is provided by the body, and women tend to have smaller bodies, it's logical that when talking about the same item, women will find it a tad colder.
Regarding the waterproof layer, i'd say it depends a lot on the energy you are displaying at that moment. Sometimes it's better to vent heat for a while rather than trapping it in and suffocating yourself while you try to make an effort. It's important to change setup and get dry and insulated as soon as you stop. Perhaps wet by sweat is worse than wet by water.
For a waterproof layer, I currently use a soloclimb cirrus top and military heavy duty pants if needed, happy with it. In UL terms, i find the kilt + gaiters interesting, but i haven't tried it yet.