Does Bear poo in the woods

TinTin

TinTin

Thru Hiker
Not sure where I saw mention of this last night, it may have been a question on a quiz show. Bear Grylls list several methods of going for a poo in the wild. Oddly he uses "number one" to do a number 2. :) My knees are getting very creaky these days and I need to review my "method" What's your favourite?

I'm thinking off using my poles and adopt the downhill ski position to give the old knees a bit of help.

Here are Bear's proclaimed favourites. Not sure I'm up for the date methods, you'd need to be very friendly.

“Number one is the ‘lean to’ (he holds onto a tree trunk and squats), but you can, of course, go for the ‘free solo’ (squats unaided).
“My favourite is the ‘kung-fu method’ (he squats on one leg with the other outstretched). It has dangers with the back of the boot. Then you have the ‘first date’ which is when you’re with someone and you go back to back linking arms.

“The ‘second date’ is when you know each other better (Bear and Cara face each other, hold hands and squat).”
 
Taz38

Taz38

Thru Hiker
A while back I found the perfect fallen tree trunk...then 2 walkers (coming out of nowhere) decided to stop and stare (from a distance) o_O
:asshat::D

My method:
Due to dodgy hip (much better now) a few years ago I learnt how to do these things standing up with slightly bent knees. You don't really need to squat (imho) unless you don't want to be seen, or are constipated (I guess).
No accidents yet. The fact I eat lots of muesli on the trail helps do this quickly.
 
Lucille Vamoose

Lucille Vamoose

Summit Camper
NEEpps said:
Not surprised he craps with someone else. Heard he cannot even wipe his own ar@@
Click to expand...

The poor guy, he surely knows it will not be expected of him, having risked going so far up on the well tramelled road? Also, in order to return, he must prepare himself to bear the consequences of knocking his lights out, and weigh up the attendant risks of baring all: moon on a stick?
 
kvragu

kvragu

Ultralighter
I'll try to curb my enthusiasm but I love squatting for poops. I wish Europe adopted the Asian squat toilets. There's something very facilitating about the full squat, and there's much less to clean up afterwards since everything is so spread out. I imagine it's superior from a maintenance perspective.

Indoors, regular toilets make so little sense. When I was touring and using public and cafe toilets, hovering over the seat probably exerted enough calories for about half an hour of riding. The rare sight of a squatting toilet was just blissful.

Can't say I envy you lot for your wonky knees.
 
DuneElliot

DuneElliot

Section Hiker
Oh, and being either American (or European) bears poop in the woods. No bear will poo in the woods...it's just uncivilized (and too British)
 
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